U.S. Expat Women Speak About Life Abroad
Yankee Expatriates Reveal the Good and Bad of Living Overseas
Oct 12, 2009
Pickering, a senior, who for years resided in Westchester County, N.Y., has lived in a London suburb for the past 5 1/2 years, Her move was prompted, she notes in a recent interview via e-mail, by "someone I thought would very certainly be my future husband." While she eventually tied the knot with that someone, hubby Andrew Pickering (a second marriage for both), it took her a few years to obtain necessary visas in order to wed and remain in England indefinitely.
American Expats Encounter Foreign Bureaucracy
"Some people think one can just move to another country and stay forever, but it doesn`t work that way," writes Pickering. "Each trip to the Home Office was a real ordeal." The process to obtain "fiancee, marriage and permanent resident" visas totaled the equivalent of $4,000 to $5,000.
Veleanu, a single graphics designer in her early 40s, emigrated from the U.S. to a suburb of Tel Aviv, Israel 11 years ago. Raised in New York, she had spent many summers in Israel visiting family with her Israeli-born mother. When her mom eventually moved back to Israel, it didn`t take long for Veleanu to join her. Still, the going was far from easy.
While she was able to live rent-free in an empty apartment that belonged to her grandparents, it was in a very religious area where she felt uncomfortable. "I didn`t love living there," says Veleanu, interviewed during a recent trip visiting family in Philadelphia. "But at least it gave me some stability in my first year." (With her mother's help, Veleanu eventually moved to another apartment in the outskirts of Tel Aviv.)
Foreign Residents Must Adjust to a New Way of Life
As a Jew, Veleanu had the opportunity to automatically become an Israeli citizen. However, like Pickering, she also encountered a load of bureaucracy. "There was the Ministry of Interior to go to for paper work, and it could take hours and hours," she says. In addition, as the country was facing politically turbulent times, Veleanu says people seemed less patient. "Times were harsher than now, and I was very frustrated."
Because of her foreign accent when speaking Hebrew, Veleanu says people would sometimes take advantage of her, such as charging more money for purchases. "When you`re tougher, they don`t even try, but when you seem scared and worried, people take advantage."
Although the major issue for Pickering was becoming a legal resident, there were a slew of other obstacles to overcome: Daily routines such as using unfamiliar appliances and ingredients, adapting to metric system measurements, even acclamating to the weather. "In the winters, it gets dark by 4 or 4:30 p.m., and the days are very short," she writes.
Dealing with New Standards and Practices in Their Adopted Countries
Pickering also had to get used to the high cost of living in England. "It is VERY expensive," she says. Filling her SAAB with gas is equivalent to nearly $80; food and clothing are twice the amount as in New York. And going to the movies, she adds, "I was shocked the first time. It was the equivalent of about $16 for one person (exchange rates have since improved a bit)."
As for Veleanu, she wasn't paid for the first three months of working at her first job. "They informed me that was normal for Israel," she says. "I was told some people are paid by the week, some by the month and some every three months." She was eventually paid after she quit, but not until someone went to bat for her.
Presently, Veleanu is employed by a high-tech company, a job she landed through a friend who worked there. "Most things are like that. If you don't know someone, it's really tough."
Although she labels it a "minor problem," Pickering says she's learned to live without favorite ingredients, cosmetics and other American products available at very inflated costs.
Offering cautionary advice to those considering relocation abroad, Pickering suggests living in the desired country for a long while before making a permanent move. "Things aren't the same when on holiday. Make sure you have sufficient funds and can live there legally."
Although she misses her family in the U.S., Pickering keeps in touch through e-mail and phone calls. And, of course, there are occasional family visits on both sides of the pond. On the plus end, living in England makes traveling in Europe easy, she writes. There's also the wonderful food, great supermarkets and "friendly and helpful" people.
For Veleanu, there's a list of positives as well. For example, Saturdays when she's off from work, she volunteers at an animal welfare organization that tries to find homes for stray dogs. A passionate animal lover, she has recently established her own organization for which she's trying to raise money. In the process, she has made many friends in addition to those from her office and fitness center. "It's not hard to meet people," she says, "and I have made the best friends of my life."
Despite bureaucratic and other challenges along the way, each woman has come to terms with her adoptive country. And both are grateful to those who eased that transition: Veleanu admits if it weren't for her mom, she probably wouldn't have remained in Israel too long. "It would have been too difficult." Pickering credits her spouse, noting "I have a great husband who has helped me adjust to a new existence."
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